[#100th Post] Simple yet Powerful Change Needed for Women Empowerment.

There two major problems in India that we are not paying enough attention. The regressive customs are hurting not only India’s progress but also, it’s society. The society is changing where more youth are moving to cities with their spouse and children to find jobs, leaving their parents behind. That leads to a huge population of deserted old parents in India.

Below are the two problems highlighted by two prominent publications –

  • India witnesses one of the highest female infanticide incidents in the world: study. In a first-ever global study on female infanticide by Asian Centre for Human Rights, a Delhi-based NGO dedicated to the protection of human rights, it has been revealed that preference of son over daughter is a major reason for female infanticide in many countries around the world. Dowry system in South Asia, which makes daughters “an unaffordable economic burden”, also contributes to female infanticide. DTE
  • Why India’s youth are abandoning their elderly parents? Gulf News

Just make this change – Make ‘daughters’, the primary care-taker of the ageing parents.

Benefits :

  • There will be a dip in female infanticide. The girl child will be seen as an asset compared to liability in the current situation.
  • Ageing parents can be nagging and difficult to manage. One really needs to love them to endure their difficult behaviour. As a girl child, I would fight, argue, rebuke, hate but at the end of the day, love my parents. I sense my parents need even before they speak. It takes years to have a similar connection with In-laws.
  • Girls are able to understand their parents’ lot better. They understand their joys, sorrows, pain, need and want. They are sensitive to their need. But it is hard to do the same for in-laws. Family equations are strained because boys are stuck between mother and wife.
  • The age-old Saas-Bahu fight would end. The unnecessary tussle of the ownership over ‘the man’ would end. Boys will not be the primary caretaker. The dependency on them is reduced. The sense of security would come from the girls. When the parents are insecure and dependent, that’s when they see their “bahu” as a competitor for the mind-space.
  • The birth of the girl will be celebrated the same as the boy child. The pressure on the boys to exceed will come down. The pride that comes with son’s success would be shared. Why do girls back out when they have to share the responsibility?
    • The unnecessary tradition of leaving dad’s house to go to in-law’s house has to end. No one is living with their in-laws. Most of the newlywed couples live in their own tiny apartments then what is the point of using the reference that girls have to quit their parents’ house. And therefore they cannot take care of them.
  • Parents will start taking care of their girl child education. They would want the girls to work and earn so that she can take care of them later on. Right now, they are a burden. What do parents get when they educate their girl child? She has to leave one day to take care of her ‘own’ house. That thought has to end.
  • Property sharing would be equal. As of now, it is possible just by legal means but not many are practising it. Boys are assumed to be taking care of parents. They are doing a poor job. Ultimately, they depend on their wives to do the job who may not share the same feelings for his parents. When girls are taking care of parents that’s when they truly become eligible for property rights.
  • Women will be more independent mentally, financially and socially. In the present situation, first, they depend on parents for their survival and then on husbands. The responsibility to take care of the parents will propel them to have their own careers. Now when girls get married, at times, in-laws force them to quit their jobs.
  • There will be more equality among men and women. The undue pressure on men would come down. There will be celebrations at the advent of the girl child too.

I am sure there are many more benefits of girls taking this ownership. There is a huge growth prospect of this idea that will ultimately improve the condition of women and also a relief to deserted old parents.

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Strong women climb the ladder!

It is not just intelligence or skills required for a woman to be successful. She needs one more important quality and that is being strong headed. The kind of powerplay that she may have to deal with at the workplace, she should be prepared for all kinds of situation. She should know the rules of the game and play accordingly. Skill, Patience and perseverance are important.

It may be taxing at times to think more than just focussing on work. But it is important to build relationships and talk to people. Understanding and being aware of what is happening in the workplace is important to plan your career ahead within the organisation.

One may be the best in what she is doing but who cares?! People care about what is in it for them. How can you benefit them by being there? If no one else is getting benefitted with the work you do, then most likely it will be difficult for her to survive.

Therefore, it is important to make sure that the key stakeholder is getting benefitted from the work that has been done. So, that is why I said, more than skills, one should have a strong mind to deal with the pressure of the workplace.

Women usually have a high sense of righteousness and therefore they object on any wrongdoing. Raising objections is not wrong but how you raise objections becomes important. If one doesn’t know how to do that then there are high chances that she may have to face the consequences. Going direct is generally appreciated. Some people say that such people are harmless. But no one appreciates the directness at the workplace.

There will be instances where people around you may know that what you are saying is true or correct, they would still choose to stay quiet because they are getting benefitted. So, when such an instance happens, don’t lose calm. That is expected. One shouldn’t forget that workplace is a business and everyone is working together to make profits.

Everyone interests may not be aligned but they are definitely entangled.

So, keep the head on your shoulder and don’t react. Wait, think and then respond.

strong-women-quotes-proud

“Coffee in one hand, Confidence in the other.”

While we are trying for Women Empowerment and Equality in the workplace, we should not forget that no one can get a job, just because she is a WOMAN. At the workplace, women must either show confidence or prove themselves worthy of the job. And even if someone is worthy of a job, he/she still needs approval from colleagues. Unfortunately, among colleagues, the majority are men. That would mean, it is Men who would choose whether to support or not. It will take at least a few generations for all toxic men to go away. The hope is that fresh crops would be bred with a concept that women should be treated equally. And that’s when we would see a ‘change’.

Till then, one can’t run away from the truth that men will continue with their age-old perception about women i.e troublemakers, drama queen etc. They would continue to work in their comfort zone which is their male counterparts. Men support each other and focus on the bigger picture. More power, more money!! How many women have you seen cheering up for other women? How many of them will promote other women for a higher position?

Many times, it has been noticed that a woman sees another woman in a conference/forums, and would shy away from breaking the ice. Most of the times, they would hide behind their male counterparts.

Till we have women who are happy living under the shade of their male counterparts, it will be hard for the rest of the community. There is no harm in being confident, opinionated, thoughtful and assertive. Most of the times, men dislike ambitious women, in the workplace. But the same man would love a woman like that at home.

Let’s not deny that but there is a fundamental difference in understanding between men and women. That doesn’t give any reason for the species to exploit other species.

So, in case someone is looking for success at the workplace, try to be easy-going yet assertive in your views. There are higher chances that you will be noticed as a strong independent woman, ready to take on the world.capture

News! News!

Hello everyone – Just to keep you posted. The reason why I am staying away from writing more blogs is that I am exhausted with all the writing I am doing now.

The news is that I have finally started penning down my story and completed 30% in the last few weeks.

For now, I have been dumping all my thoughts on a piece of paper but can’t wait to see how that would turn out in the next couple of months.

I am targeting to finish the book by mid-next year and it should be ready to release by end of Next Year.

I would be sharing more insights on the topic of the book and my experiences while writing it.

Please do share your experiences | thoughts | ideas on book writing and reading.

Stay Tuned!

NOTE: Please follow this blog to learn more on these topics.

Does Networking work?

Last week, I attended a big Marketing event. Big shots from the industry were present at the event. Every second person was a known face. Being living in one place for that long has its own effects. I ended up meeting ex-clients and ex-colleagues. I wanted to meet new people because this is one of the big highlights of the event. But I noticed that people were all gathered in clusters and talking to their own colleagues/ friends. Majority of them were hardly interested in knowing anyone new. Not sure if they were in similar as me where they knew the majority in the crowd.

I am high on networking. At the start of my career, I heard in one of the seminars that networking helps in career growth. Since then I have always looked for an opportunity to network and connect. I look back at my career, I didn’t figure if networking has really benefitted me. It may or may not but I like to be connected anyways.

If I have to answer whether Networking works or not, I would say 10% and that too meaningful networking. It’s doesn’t work when you randomly bump into each other, strike a conversation and get connected on LinkedIn. That is not a meaningful networking.

Meaning networking would be meeting people who could be potentially aligned with your future objectives and in return, you have something to offer to them. Networking is about mutual benefit.

It is also important and in the first five minutes of the meeting, you can let the party know what you are looking for in the meeting. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Professional meets are always about mutual growth.

If you have left a valuable information in those five mins. There is a high chance that he/she will call back or tried to stay in touch.

More than meeting 100 people and handing over the business card, one should focus on having a meaning conversation with a few people.

So, when you are engaged and network, rest assured that it will benefit 10% or less. In case you are not networking at all, it may have some impact or your career because, at the time of hiring, your skills and experience would matter but people like to hear familiar names of friends, acquaintances, ex-colleagues. It has a lot of impacts because they can get first-hand feedback from them. That’s when probably that one long conversation you had with someone may also help.

If you actively network, you may not achieve a lot, but if you don’t, you may miss a fantastic opportunity to learn from other people experiences.

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